is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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