Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I deserve this hangover.
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