Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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