Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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