grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize