I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize