even my farts smell like vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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