No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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