If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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