you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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