oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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