I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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