i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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