Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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