you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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