So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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