why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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