Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize