Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
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Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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