i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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