How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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