My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize