too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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