i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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