Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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