i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize