my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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