I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize