i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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