a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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