i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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