I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
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Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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