I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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