I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize