You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize