Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We are all done wearing pants today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize