wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize