dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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