you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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