Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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