The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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