If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize