she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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