It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
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Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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