Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(216): View more from Ohio

when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

(1-216): View more from Ohio

damn...impressive bar tab

(216): View more from Ohio

no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf

Replies (13) Good night (1145) Bad night (1851)
Favorite
(559): View more from California

Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(559): Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs http://tfl.nu/r642

Replies (18) Good night (2486) Bad night (427)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again. http://tfl.nu/8soy

Replies (13) Good night (565) Bad night (2814) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him http://tfl.nu/38fg

Replies (6) Good night (4149) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

Replies (26) Good night (10602) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

when are you leaving homes?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

(302): View more from Delaware

I had a sex dream about Oprah.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

go back to sleep

(302): View more from Delaware

dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): when are you leaving homes? (610): it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51 (302): I had a sex dream about Oprah. (610): go back to sleep (302): dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah. http://tfl.nu/idf1

Replies (16) Good night (1252) Bad night (5176)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave http://tfl.nu/0ff9

Replies (10) Good night (2752) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower. http://tfl.nu/pdns

Replies (3) Good night (1971) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl

Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (400)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room http://tfl.nu/d90t

Replies (13) Good night (1242) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(386): View more from Florida

The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(386): The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband. http://tfl.nu/86hq

Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion. http://tfl.nu/wgt6

Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could. http://tfl.nu/xxra

Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp

Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day. http://tfl.nu/k3zd

Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: