My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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