fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Couch. On fire.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize