i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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