My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize