He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
vagina is talking i cant
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize